The Hot, Spider-Filled Existential Dread of Tumblr's Australian Gothic

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Eric Lund
Sep 1, 2020 11:00 AM EDT

We've never lived in Australia, but if Tumblr's Australian rosetta stone is any indicator, it seems like an exciting place to be. Let this version of the place be a confusing warning of Australia-themed dread. That and the mortifying nopes of Australia drive home the whole "tons of spiders everywhere" thing.

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  • 01
    Text - devilrie australian gothic - we all refer to the prime minister by their first name. we know them well, and they know us. all of us. - there's a man on the street corner who never leaves. "just waiting for a mate," he says. you realise he is on every corner, of every street. - you are swooped by a magpie in the same place, at the same time, every single day. "it's swooping season!" says your neighbour. it has always been swooping season. - sometimes you hear a woman whispering late at nig
    via starsweeper
  • 02
    Text - eatingcroutons - Someone offers you a meat pie. It burns your tongue. You have never asked what kind of meat is in a meat pie. - The Prime Minister walks into the ocean and is never seen again. They say he was a traitor, defecting to the enemy, whisked away by submarines. You build a swimming pool in his honour. - The grass is dead, or the grass is Long. You do not go into the grass when it is Long. - An old man judges you silently as you buy an avocado. You already knew you would never o
    via starsweeper
  • 03
    Text - - Someone offers you a jam doughnut. It burns your tongue. - You check your calendar and your house number three times before you turn on the sprinklers. Your neighbour's face appears at their window. You wonder if you should check again. - It is time for the Maccas Run. Nobody knows what time it actually is, but you all sense it is right. The Designated stands up. - Whoever she is, whenever, wherever, whatever she is, she will always be right. fluffmugger - It's bin night. But which bin?
    via starsweeper
  • 04
    Text - ileolai - There's a new prime minister, but it's the same prime minister. Now he's gone. There's a new prime minister. You change your smoke alarm battery. - You don't believe the stories about the creatures in the trees, but you take precautions. One day, you see an unwary traveller taking shelter from the blazing sun underneath a jacaranda. When you look back, he's gone. - The train is coming in five minutes. The train is coming in four minutes. The train is coming in five minutes. The
    via starsweeper

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gothic tumblr australia creative strange lol existentialism funny
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